Seasons, Chapters, and Empty Promises

Post written by Veronica Kipfer.

photo courtesy of realeoni

Hilariously following last weeks post about where your focus is, please join me this week on the ranting of a scattered mind.

Things that I find rather intriguing:

1. High school relationships are magically mended over time.

Stereotypes are dropped. Assumptions are dissolved. Men and women are born from coodie-fleeing-boys and girls, jocks who wouldn’t dare sit with the school loner, or the mathlete who wouldn’t be caught dead hanging out with the grammar club. You got the point. I think it is rather amazing how this works out. People over time realize what’s important and suddenly we grow up, we have careers, marriages, families, we have all the responsibilities in the world. Which leads me into the next intriguing thing…

2. Life is a cycle, a series of seasons and chapters. Only problem is the novel never ends and the seasons keep coming.

Each season always seems like the longest, the coldest, the warmest, of course I’m referring to the actual weather. It is now Autumn and suddenly the temperature has measurably dropped. The early morning run is now coupled with a knit hat, gloves and that cold crisp air now freezing your lungs and throat. I tend to find beauty in each season. Yes it’s getting cooler, but the changing leaves are painting the horizon and increased rain leaves puddles reflecting the no-longer-blue sky.

This chapter of life you are going through: maybe it has seemed to be the darkest, the climax the most intense, conflicts everywhere you turn. Each new day is the turning of a new page, a glimpse of hope that things will change. As each page turns light is shed on the dark situation and situations resolve and areas where you faced conflict are now personal victories. Each chapter offers its series of challenges and obstacles. We learn to dodge and overcome them; in turn this makes us stronger. This explains why during each season and each chapter seems worse than the previous. That’s because it is. We learn from the past and we change; we get stronger, allowing us to grow. I’d encourage you not to be overwhelmed entering a new chapter, but instead look forward with joy! With joy? Why? Because as we enter into a new chapter we build on the previous victories. Knowing we overcame past challenges and struggles gives us strength to push through and overcome the next challenges that seem like they’re going to overtake us. It’s a cycle.

3. Why we worry: because we are afraid. I’ve heard it said before that 95% of what we spend our time worrying about never comes to pass. Why are we wasting 95% of our thoughts worrying about things? Let’s start enjoying each little moment.

4. Empty promises.

We are raised to be men and women of our words. Yet, how many times have you given someone your word and backed out on that person. Or maybe each New Years you’ve made a suggestion to yourself about something you will change. Notice I said suggestion. I’m sure we’ve all attempted to promise ourselves something. This is the last time I will be late. Or I’m never going to do that again… I’ll never, I won’t… do we follow through on these promises or just leave them to promise to ourselves next week? I’m encouraging you to take notice of the thing you are promising, whether it’s to other people or just to yourself. Take the initiative to make your words stronger.

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Grow Up, Eat Your Veggies

photo courtesy of Thomas Hawk

Imagine, for a moment, a 7 year old boy shuffling behind his mother.  He’s carrying a double bagged container of tomatoes.  They shuffle through a crowd as if they were salmon looking for the next bag to carry.  She is acting as his linebacker, deflecting off the swarm of people as he reluctantly hopes for an end to this drive.  He’s got a glazed look about him, bored beyond belief.  He’s wondering why can’t put this food in a cart and get a free cookie, like at the local supermarket.  But no this little fella is at a public market and by the way this obedient son is me. 

I had no idea what a gem public markets are.  I am in love with the Downtown Public Market in Rochester NY (incase you are reading this from somewhere else).  When I got out of college I moved to the city and ventured there every Saturday, I still trek it there since I moved to the outskirts of suburbia.  It’s an adventure, a time of tranquility for me, and the cheapest place to buy a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables.

Don’t let me limit your view to this grand place.  There are many things to buy at Rochester’s Downtown Public Market.  There are covered vendor areas and an indoor area.  In this poorly named “shed” there are fish, red meat, incense, paste, coffee, and herbs sold.  Also around are purses and livestock, cheese and deli meat, plants and flowers, jewelry and crafts, specialty foods and ethnic delicacies.  Also at times there are utensils and clothing and if you want to treat yourself there usually is a table of Amish homemade desserts and breads that will surpass most of what your mother can whip up.

As for entertainment value you can always look up special events at the market, they have cooking demonstrations, tastings, garage sales, Flower days, performing artist grace the area with their talent from time to time, and if you are lucky an unfortunate individual will be reminded that he illegally parked by the “wry” market office announcer. 

I could go into all the social conscious reasons you should go, buying locally, buying green, supporting the city, but really I enjoy it for all the benefits it gives me, the most powerful is bargains, I can’t find it cheaper.  I usually go alone, but I get very excited when I can introduce this to other people. 

Friends come in handy when you want to make a killing in buying items for cheep.  Sure you may not need 14 oranges but you and a few friends can split that and then buy a few other variety of fruit.  People watching is fun and in our fast pace texting society isn’t it nice to know you can go to a place where people are buying and selling items the same way as they have been doing for hundreds of years, without commercials, without fancy signs.

For a date, there is no better place to get comfortable with someone, you can take a stroll, observe colorful things.  If conversation is lacking you can easily talk about food.  There is less pressure to be interesting, you have the interesting all around you, just react.  If things are going well, there are flower vendors to top off the day.  If you want a bite you can enjoy many different inexpensive restaurants: Scott’s, The Empanada Stop (my personal favorite), Cherry’s European, Boulder Coffee.

This is a great place to bring kids.  For those who have little exposure to different cultures this is a great opportunity to see a rainbow of different people.  A child’s imagination can go wild.  Keep in mind the economy in the United States created the super market only about 50 years ago, before that there was the local grocery store.  What do you think the rest of the world does?  For years I would shop with friends who were refugees from Sudan, this was a place they got, with Wegmans there are too many rules too many things to consider- there are 11 brands of tomato soup! I’m all for convenience, but there is something to be said for simplicity.  Pick them up a honey stick (in the shed)  or some kettle when you get there.  Involved them here with conversation and choices about which foods to get. Get them to walk around, carry a bag or two, it build character.

Tips for going to the market

Arrive with time to spare:  This is not a “get in get out deal”, nor should it be. 

Find good parking:  The closest parking lot to the venders is off  Railroad Street.  You get there by driving on East Main by the corner of Goodman Street.  This parking lot can be crowded at times (peak hours between 10-1).  Crowded is an understatement, people are jockeying for position for a good amount of time.  If you are interested in saving time get creative with the parking.  I usually park on Hayward Street a neighboring street to the market.  There is also parking on North Union and paid parking (usually $2) on Railroad Street.  So you may have to walk a little more, in the sake of time it may save you a stitch or two.

Make a lap:  Unless you know exactly what you want and who to get it from you are gonna want to do a check of availability, quality and price (I do it every week to the dismay of my wife).  You may develop buyers regret when you pay one dollar for a head of lettuce when twenty yards away you could get it for 75 cents. 

Negotiate: Don’t be afraid to ask for a deal, but make sure it’s a deal you want.  Buying 2 bushels of apples may be cheaper than buying two individual ones but if your household won’t go through the amount in a week you are wasting money. (refer to friends paragraph)

Try going at different times of the day Rochester’s Public Market is open from 5-3 on Saturdays, and 6-1 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  And yes they are open all year around

Go early to beat the crowds and get the freshest items

Go late and get a deal.  Near the end of the day there are venders who will rather sell off their perishable items for a loss than get go home with a total lost.  But be aware that you may miss out on variety.

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Confessions of a Bargain Junkie

Post written by Bridget Strub.

photo courtesy of alancleaver_2000

I have a confession to make. This week, Pete and I ate at a chain restaurant on date night. I know, I know…I’m weak. I’ve already wavered in my commitment to finding new-to-me, non-chain restaurants. Don’t reject me just yet. Hear me out. I’ll do better next week. I swear.

First of all, do you know how many restaurants there are in Rochester? I don’t know the exact number either, but I will tell you that there are a lot. I had a slight panic attack this past week when I did a general search online to find a restaurant for this weekend’s date night. What started out to be a jolly stroll on the World Wide Web ended in a desperate search for somewhere, anywhere to spend a nice, inexpensive evening with my husband. What I found in my quest was this:

•Restaurants are called bistros when they want to serve you small portions but charge two to three times more than the average restaurant.

•I was surprised by the amount of restaurants I’ve been to in Rochester. I’ve just forgotten about them because they didn’t impress me, grossed me out, or charged me too much.

•Restaurants that do not have websites cannot, under any circumstance, be trusted to be credible, quality food providers. Pete and I have had a hard and fast rule since early on in our marriage (after being burned a few times) that we do not go to a restaurant without a website or a friend recommendation.

As I continued my endless quest, I began realizing some things about myself and about why Pete and I have done date nights the way we have for the last few years. First of all, we’ve established a pretty solid routine that’s worked for us since the conception of date night. We alternate who picks the restaurant each week. If we didn’t do that, Pete would have us overdosing on raw meat, mashed potatoes and fresh bread, and I’d have us nibbling away at Greek salads, spanakopita, and pitas.
It makes life fairly harmonious, and both of us happy for the most part. So, when it was my turn to pick the restaurant for a second week in a row I froze. That’s when we decided to go to the Marketplace Wegmans (in Henrietta) to go grocery shopping. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m a huge procrastinator. I’m at my very best when I’m trying to avoid something I don’t want to do. It gets bad, and Wegmans is usually my ultimate go-to. I’ve been known wander the aisles at 3am just to avoid homework. This specific instance, however, provided me with some insight about my dilemma.

Pete and I have frequented the Marketplace Wegmans more this month than we have in the past three years. This is not by coincidence. They are currently running a campaign for college students. If you show them your ID (which both Pete and I currently have), they give you a book of coupons for free stuff each week. Pete and I have collected 6 books of coupons, so we’ve been able to stock our shelves (and consequently our tummies) with 4 frozen pizzas, ramen noodle bowls, and 3 packages of double stuffed Oreos all for free, and the month isn’t even over yet! As we searched the aisles for the things on our grocery list (and our free coupon items) we saw Wegmans employees handing out free samples. Wegmans apparently loves to give things away for free. It was amidst the bites of my sample-sized three-course meal of smoked gouda on apple cider raisin bread (appetizer), salad with tarragon dressing (entrée), and the ultimate vanilla cake (dessert) that I was awarded the date night clarity I was longing for.

Here’s the deal. I really like a good deal, but I really, REALLY like getting free stuff. I am elated to the very depths of my soul at the thought of receiving something for free or at a discounted price. It’s become a near obsession for me as of late, but I can’t seem to stop it. I blame my mother. That woman taught me how to sniff out a bargain from aisles away. Pete could share countless stories with you about how scary my hobby of bargain hunting has become. He used to roll his eyes at me because I’d give my e-mail to any store that would ask, but when coupons for free appetizers, entrees, and underwear (yes, I said underwear) started landing in my inbox he acknowledged my infinite wisdom in this matter.

This being said, there is nothing Pete or I hate more than paying more than we have to for food. It puts a serious damper on the date night mood, and the mood for date night is super crucial, to spend all our money on overpriced food adorned with fancy green stuff. That realization released my restaurant hunt anxiety. The reason we hadn’t tried many of the restaurants in Rochester is simply because they are way too expensive. They offer similar menus to those of chain restaurants, but at more than double the cost. This is the reason Pete and I got in to our restaurant rut in the first place. The places we frequented most were the places we knew we could eat well and cheaply. Not to be proven wrong on this occasion, we chose to eat at TGIFridays, and our total bill (tip and tax included) came to $19.07. Now you tell me how I can justify spending that much for just one of our entrees when I know those other bargains are out there. I dare you.

Hopefully now you can at least understand my reasons for straying from my commitment to you. I have a problem. I can’t pay for food I know I could get cheaper elsewhere. It’s almost like a siren’s song calling me back to the chain restaurants each week. This addiction goes deeper than I thought it did. I’ll get help. I promise! I’m not quite sure what this means for next week’s article. Maybe we’ll eat at another chain restaurant, maybe a unique non-bistro, I could try my hand at cooking for once, but who wants to do that when there’s free food around!

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Olympus Stylus Tough 6000 Review

Post written by Steve Otto. Follow me on Twitter.

Not Your Average Camera

the Stylus Tough-6000 by Olympus

First Impressions
When I first received the camera I decided to completely disregard the Instruction Manual and refrain from checking out the website and just play around a bit. I wanted to get my own impression of how great or lousy the camera was without the influence of the website’s marketing. To be completely candid, I wasn’t really too excited over doing a camera review. I mean, how exciting is it to compare compact digital camera’s? They are all pretty much the same. I pictured myself checking out the ISO settings, picture quality, zoom feature, maybe even get into the quality of the camera strap. Not too exciting, right? Well, think again.

Earning it’s Label
The Olympus Stylus Tough-6000 has several features that set it apart immediately from other cameras that I’ve owned or used before. Besides the non-traditional color of yellow (which looks more green to me) – the words shockproof and waterproof on the front of the camera caught my attention. (It also comes in blue, orange or silver). Being this was a loaner camera, a sly grin came to my face. Shockproof up to 5 feet, huh? We’ll see about that. After enjoying a few drops myself (which I found it amazingly difficult to let an expensive gadget slip out of my hands) I shared this joy with my wife. It brought a smile to her face as well to toss the camera onto the ground and after inspecting the camera, we were both impressed too find that it still powered up and operated fine. Oh, I can’t forget to mention the very cool stainless steel lens cover that slides up when you turn the camera to off.

The other part of it’s tough label is that it happens to be waterproof. I also looked forward to sticking this camera down into some water and capturing some images that I’ve only been able to do in the past with a disposable waterproof camera that costs about $30 and uses traditional film. The camera lived up to this feature as well and captured some terrific underwater photos that, not surprisingly, come out much better than the disposables we’ve used in past. More on this later…

The Basics
Before I get back to the fun features that really set this camera apart, let me go over some of the basic settings you would want from any camera. The features I’m most interested in, as an amateur photographer, are picture quality, flash, zoom, screen size, shutter quickness and battery. I realize there are a ton of other features, but when it really comes down to it, these are the must-have’s that need to work well.

1. Picture Quality The pictures have amazing definition, using 10 megapixels. After shooting a few pics and uploading them on my Mac, I noticed these were as impressive as any DSLR camera pictures I’ve seen. The colors were vibrant, and the images were very detailed. I could zoom in significantly and appreciate the amazing detail provided by a full 10 megapixels. This, I must say, was the turning point for me and the camera. At this point, I compared the picture quality of these new photos to my older compact Canon, and it suddenly felt broken, or at least inadequate. I had been planning on upgrading my camera in the near feature and was fully expecting to go to one of the larger DSLR camera’s but the Olympus Tough was beginning to change my mind.

2. Flash The quality of the flash, or rather more importantly, how the camera does in low-light, is very important to me as well. The Tough 6000 has a built in flash which does limit it compared to the larger DSLR’s that can handle a $200 external flash, but it did quite well in low light. I have to be honest, I do need to play around a bit more. I tried many different combinations, using the flash settings, different scenes, no-flash, and some of them came out grainy, but some of them came out extremely clear. I simply need to remember what specific combination to use the next time I’m to capture a moment in low-light.

3. Zoom There are two ways to compare the zoom. Again, I was considering going to a larger DSLR camera, in which you can add on expensive lenses allowing you to zoom in and capture someone’s nose hairs sitting on the other side of a stadium. So in that example, no compact camera would compare. Nor are they even in the same price range. But as far as comparing it to similar compact camera’s, it has an pretty impressive 3.6x optical zoom, for not having any external lens. Most camera’s that have any sort of zoom over 2x have some sort of lens that protrudes out of the camera, but the Stylus Tough stays slim and sleek.

4. Screen Size The Tough’s screen was quite interesting to me. While looking at the large 2.7 inch LCD screen when shooting a picture, it looked very clear to me. Once I snapped a photo and saw the image I just took that displays for a few seconds, it looked slightly less detailed. When I took my first few pictures I thought they weren’t coming out so great, but once I got them on the computer and viewed them full sized, I realized they look great. I’m being very picky here, but did want you to be aware of that. Other family members I showed this difference to, didn’t seem to think it was that bad. When viewing pictures I took in playback mode, you are able to zoom in on the pictures, and that certainly showed how terrific the definition was. It’s just good to know that the quick review of the image you just shot is going to be even more impressive on your computer screen or prints.
5. Shutter Quickness There is nothing worse than trying to capture a quick picture of your kids doing something cute and you end up getting the back of their heads as they run by or some other awkward pose just after the moment you really wanted. How quickly the camera can take a shot is very important to me. The auto focus feature has a big impact on the shutter quickness. Most cameras now allow you to hold down the shutter button halfway to focus and the then you press it fully down to capture the image. The quickness of the focus (or lack of) plays a big part in your ability to capture the right moment. I shot several images without using the halfway focus feature to see how quickly the camera could focus and take a shot – in case I wanted something quick. The camera did it’s part quite well. I would guess it was about a quarter of a second to focus and get the shot – where as my older Canon seems to be around a full second. And obviously, if you do hold down the shutter button halfway to pre-focus, your shot is instant once you push down the shutter button fully.

6. Battery The Tough uses a Li-ion Rechargeable Battery. Now rechargeable batteries can be either good or bad. I love not going through countless AA’s, but if the battery doesn’t last very long, you are outta luck unless you want to purchase a second rechargeable to have on hand. So how does the Tough fair? Well, I used the camera very extensively one day on our trip to the Adirondacks (which btw, seemed like the perfect environment to test it out), taking about 200 pictures one day alone, and the camera was nearly full at the end of the day. The camera is a beast. I would recommend charging before each day just to play it safe, but I have no doubt it will last for a full day’s use when it’s fully charged.

The Highlight Reel.

Okay, there are actually a ton of other very cool features that most other cameras don’t have, so I’ll try to run through those quickly.

Panorama The Tough has a very cool and easy feature to create Panoramics. The Panoramics are stitched together right in the picture with the help of a little dot. My camera does that now, you’re thinking, but not like the Tough. Simply take your first picture and then move your camera angle to the left or the right and you’ll notice a little box on the screen as well as a dot. Once you put the dot in the box (which lines up your next shot) the camera automatically takes the next picture. You repeat this step a second time and then the three pictures get stitched together with some cool animation and voila – a perfect panorama picture.

The Menu Normally I wouldn’t even pay attention to the camera’s menu system. Most of them are pretty basic and a little annoying, but Olympus did a wonderful job creating the menus for the Tough. It was honestly a joy to use. Very clear and easy, and great graphics.

Scenes If you are not up on all the settings like ISO, WB, ESP, etc. (like me), then you can easily choose one of the many built in scene settings, like Candle, Sport, Nighttime, Beach & Snow, Sunset, Underwater, Self Portrait, as well as several other useful scenes. I played around with a few, including Beach & Snow when my kids were building sandcastles and I certainly wouldn’t have changed a thing. The detail and colors came out great. If you want to master the settings on your own, they are certainly there and easy to modify, but this camera allows you to shoot like a pro without having to know all the settings.

Tap Control Alright – now we are going from cool – to very cool. This camera has something totally unique that comes in very handy for outdoor adventures. If you are an avid skier or into hiking, you would appreciate this. You can actually tap the sides, top and back of the camera to change the settings. That’s right, give the right side a tap to toggle through the flash settings, or tap the left to choose a macro mode. Or tap the back and put the camera in playback mode and then tap left and right to scan through your images you just took. Image how useful this is if you’re out skiing and wearing gloves and want to turn the flash on!

Video I haven’t played around with this feature enough yet to give a good review, but I did try a few. The videos I took came out very clear and vibrant (in good lighting) and showed little lag or delay, that you often get with video from a compact camera. It obviously won’t compare with a high quality video camera, but if you don’t feel like lugging around another device, you can certainly take home some great videos that are worth sharing.

On Screen Display Two other features I’ve never seen on a camera that the Tough sports are the Grid and Histogram. The grid allows you to easily use the rule of thirds and the histogram allows you to quickly adjust your picture so that it won’t come out too white or black and review the luminance distribution. If you know what that means, you’ll appreciate the feature.

Beauty This is another one of those features you never see in a camera, but it’s quite handy. Take a closeup image of someone’s face and the camera will actually chug away for about 10 seconds and remove any blemishes. It works very well.

Sequential Shooting The camera allows you to shoot pictures continuously at a high speed. This is handy for so many reasons, especially for moments when the subject is moving and you want to make sure you get the best shot.

And Much Much More There are still a ton of great features that Olympus implements very well in the Tough camera. I could make the review about four times as long, but this hopefully gives you a good idea of how awesome this camera is.

Final Thoughts

Now days, there seems to be a big trend in purchasing the larger DSLR cameras. These camera’s take terrific pictures but they come at a sacrifice. Price and size. You can easily spend $600 or more on just the camera, another $200+ for the flash, and $150+ per lens. The Tough-6000 goes for about $279. As far as size, DSLRs are obviously much larger than a compact camera, and certainly much more delicate than the Tough-6000. I would never bring a Canon 40d to the places I brought my Tough-6000. When we were at the Enchanted Forrest Water Safari (where the fun never stops) I actually threw the camera in my swim suit pocket, went down the water slide, and then pulled it out at the bottom to catch my family entering the pool at the bottom. To be honest, I wouldn’t feel comfortable even bringing an expensive DSLR into a theme park in which I’d have to leave it alone in my bag when I went on certain rides. Or the other option being that someone would have to stay back and watch it. The Tough went literally everywhere with me – even down the huge water slides.

When watching pictures at the end of our vacation, the Tough’s 10megapixel shots were just as good as the DSLR shots that two of my family members had. One sacrifice though – I didn’t have the zoom they did. I wasn’t able to shoot things super far away. But I found I really didn’t have many things that were really far away I wanted to capture. I did have a ton of incredible pictures of my kids playing in the water park and it did bring me a little joy to let the camera occasionally fall in the water while other guests cringed before realizing the camera was waterproof.

All in all – I would only recommend a DSLR if you are a professional photographer or someone who insists on capturing the majority of your (dry and safe) photos from 300 feet away. Otherwise, enjoy the benefit of having little to no fear of bringing your camera everywhere and getting incredibly great and fun looking pictures.

Oh, and one more thing. I didn’t return the loaner camera after my review. Instead I sent them the $279 and kept it.

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The Frustrating Glory

Post written by Aaron Bouwens.

It was Mark Twain who is credited with encouraging not to let the little white ball ruin your walk in the park. When it come to playing golf the only thing Tiger Woods and I have in common is that we both use a golf ball and golf clubs. Still, I cannot seem to get enough of the game. Whenever the time opens up in the schedule coupled with cooperative weather, I can be found on a golf course engaging in the glorious mystery. Nothing in a more apt metaphor of my life than a trip around the 18 holes of a golf course.

Usually the first two or three holes involve a pretty sad display of golf. More often than not at least one ball is lost, and a few chunks of sod are sacrificed. After weathering the opening storm rays of hope begin to creep in. Evidence that I have actually played the game before starts to emerge. Just as I begin to think I am starting to get the hang of this, I am humbled into remembering there is a reason I am called a recreational golfer. Once the circuit is complete I look back at some pretty awful shots, many average shots, along with one or two glorious shots. More than once I have parked the cart and wondered why I even attempt to play the game. In the midst of the frustration, those one or to shots of glory beacon me to return.

Our lives are not all that different. Those who are willing to set out on the course and risk miss hits and water hazards, there will be a frustrating glory. Few and far between are the people who look back and see nothing but perfect shots in their lives. The honest person has some pretty awful shots, many average shots and a few glorious ones. Its the glorious shots which keep us going. Those moments when all the variables come together, the sweet spot is hit, and life seems to sail along just fine.

It seems as though we are designed to remember the really good moments in life more than the not so good moments. Perhaps there a reason for that. I think it is called hope. We remember the highlights and minimize the down times in order to be hopeful about what lie ahead. Golf and life are a frustrating glory. Only once in a while do we hit the ball where we meant to, and when that happens it sticks with us until it happens again.

I began with a quote and I will end with one that I do not know who to give credit to, but every golfer has shared some from of it. A bad day of golf is better than a good day in the office. A day with frustrating glory is better than and average day of just getting by.

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Adventures in Awful: The Meeting Killers

Post written by Pete Strub.

photo courtesy of ghindo

I look forward to Tuesday meetings like my dog looks forward to baths. At first he tries to run when he realizes what I have in mind, then, as I push him toward the bathroom door, he scrapes and claws to get away, then, when I close the door, he realizes he is defeated and hangs his head to endure the watery torture. This is how I feel every Tuesday and if it wasn’t unprofessional to run from meeting rooms and try to claw and scrape my way out, I would do it. Instead, I just have to submit to defeat every Tuesday and march my dejected bum into our staff meetings at the school where I teach to endure the verbal torture. Seriously, there is nothing I dread more than Tuesday afternoons, and the worst Tuesdays are when we have full staff meetings followed by union meetings. A friend asked me how I felt about our meetings the other day and my response was that our staff meetings made me want to kill myself and our union meetings made me want to kill everyone else. That’s a whole lot of violent thoughts for somebody who actually likes his job, so what makes these meetings so awful? I think there are three major offenders who cause meetings to go into suicidal/homicidal territory, and I’m willing to bet you know these people, too. So, here we are, this week’s adventure in awful: a look at the people who ruin meetings.

1. The Story-Teller
Like the name says, this is the person who has a “relevant” story for every topic in the meeting, except that their idea of relevant is more like word association. She just said cheese. I ate cheese once. I should tell everyone about that time I ate cheese. This must be how their minds work because there is no other explanation for the stories people tell. At every single staff meeting, I can count on hearing a story about somebody’s kid who just rode his bike without training wheels, got an A on a test, is coming home from college to visit for a day, or ate all of her vegetables at dinner the night before; I can count on at least one story about something terrible a student said to an adult (stunning, you mean teenagers are rude? I never knew); and I can count on at least one story that I truly don’t even understand. Aren’t there better times for these people to tell their stories? Can’t they share them over lunch in the staff room? Can’t they just keep a couple of stories to themselves and save us the pain? Apparently, this person has no understanding of facial expressions because if they looked around the room, they would see eye rolls, heads hanging on tables, slumped shoulders, and me attempting to turn my Bic pen into a lethal weapon.

2. The Over-Analyzer
Unlike the story-teller, this person appears to be a productive member of the meeting, but when you look closer, you find out that it just isn’t true. They fool you at first because everything they say is on-topic and usually makes sense. When I first started teaching, I thought the over-analyzers must be the really bright teachers who know what’s going on, the ones who make the building go. Then I looked closer, and I saw that the over-analyzer was just another meeting killer. The over-analyzer is the destroyer of progress. This is the person who, when you are completing an item on the meeting agenda and preparing to move forward, throws a stink bomb into the middle of things by bringing up a problem that nobody else sees. At first, it seems like this person is saving everyone from rushing into a terrible decision, but upon further investigation, you realize that the problem they identified is really just a minute detail that could have been worked out later with a couple of emails. I secretly believe that the over-analyzer relishes his/her role and purposefully waits until the last second before unleashing the progress-killing question. Ah, yesss, but what happens if it is a Tuesday after a holiday weekend during a leap year and it’s a full moon? Then what will we do? This person is the reason that I can usually look back at all of our faculty meetings from an entire school year and realize that I can count on one hand the amount of agenda items we actually finished.

3. The Griper
This person is like a mix of the story-teller and the over-analyzer, just with a big dose of grumpy. If you hand this person a $100 bill, they would probably complain about how crinkled it is, how $100 can’t possibly pay their bills, and how ugly Ben Franklin is. During meetings, this person is searching for any opportunity to tell a story that displays how oppressed he or she is, or find a problem that shows how hopeless our jobs, lives, or organization are. Their students are always the worst in the building, their room is the coldest in the winter and the warmest in the summer, their paycheck is always messed up, their schedule is the least desirable. The griper may be the worst offender of all in meetings. Story-tellers and over-analyzers are annoying, but the griper has the ability to hang a cloud of depression over an entire room and make every meeting feel like an exercise in futility. Organizations run on hope and the employees’ belief that they can make the organization great. The griper rips hope up, spits on it, and stomps on it like an angry little minion. This is the person who makes me want to turn my now-lethal Bic pen on myself.

Unfortunately, we can’t just point the finger at the gripers, story-tellers, and over-analyzers because the truth is that these people simply suffer from something that most of us suffer from: self-centeredness. They don’t realize how their actions affect everyone else. They don’t understand that when they tell that story, they are making everyone stay at work five more minutes when they could be home with their families or doing something important like playing video games. They don’t understand that their over-analyzing is just stalling necessary progress. And, the truly sad case, the gripers don’t understand what negativity does to people. They don’t understand the way it eats you from the inside out and steals your joy, hope, and energy.

We’re the same way, though, aren’t we? I am terribly self-centered. Heck, I write about myself every week and expect people to read it. But I’m self-centered in more important and awful ways, too. When I’m tired, I don’t think about how my cranky demeanor affects my students at school. When my wife wants to go to new restaurants on our date night, I immediately cringe inside because I want my type of food. When I sit in meetings, I only think about how painful it is for me. I never think about how much the story-teller just craves attention, or how much the over-analyzer craves validation, or how many times the griper has been burned by people. People are self-centered by nature and it takes effort to move past self-centeredness.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this because it is going to be painful for me, but I think it’s our job to move out of our self-centeredness that makes us annoyed by and judgmental toward the people who bug us and open our eyes to see their situations. Either that or invest in some very discreet iPod headphones and bob away in your next meeting.

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Where is Your Focus?

Post written by Veronica Kipfer.

photo courtesy of adriarichards

I would like to follow in Patrick’s lead from his post yesterday, Two Words You Never Want to Say. I too managed to neglect introducing myself in last week’s post. As you already know, my name is Veronica. Since Patrick mentioned he is a newlywed, allow me to mention that I am single, I work as an Office Assistant. It’s not my dream job but it’s a very good job for now. One day I will own my own coffee shop, be married with a family… etc, but this is not a time for me to expose all my future hopes and dreams to the world, maybe next week. (or not) I went to school, majoring in Psychology, for about two years before it became clear that wasn’t the right path for me. It wasn’t until I left school, as I am sure is true for most young adults, that I discovered what my passion was. I discovered where my life was heading and it became my focus to do everything in my power to get there.

The mind intrigues me. As I shared last week, I am a firm believer in positive thinking. Thinking positively takes focus. And focus requires determination, diligence and patience. Yes! Imagine that, focused people posses more patience than the unfocused. So what is focus and why should you care if you are focused?

According to dictionary.com, Focus is defined as, a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity. Why should you care if you are focused? Let’s take last week’s article, Push Yourself, Don’t Quit and use it as an example of why it’s important to keep yourself focused. For those of you who may not have read the article, I shared how I found myself in a horrible mood, I changed the focus of what I was thinking about and just like that, my spirit began to lift and I found myself feeling much better even though circumstances may not have been so wonderful.

Focus is something that has been very important and influential in my life over the last year or so. I grew up as an overweight child and it held me back from fully living my life. I remember being in middle school and dropping out of soccer. Did I quit? Yes. Did I want to quit, absolutely not! Over the last year I’ve been focusing on my lifestyle habits and choosing healthier options. Ok, let’s all face it, we’d all rather make excuses for why we can’t make healthier choices. I’ve heard many, here are just a few examples, “I’ve tried that diet… I can’t do the no-carb thing… I don’t have time… I just can’t keep it up…”

First, I’d like to say every single one of us cannot use the same health plan to lose weight, maintain weight or put weight on. Whatever it is you want to do, you’ve got to make it work for you with your body. I’ve had many people tell me their opinions of what has worked for them, and their magical food they ate that helped them drop that last 5lbs that seems to always stick around. While I welcome all advice from others, I have to stay focused on my goal, to be healthy.

I joined a biggest loser competition last year at my office and nothing motivated me more than that. Just like NBC’s The Biggest Loser, we would weigh in once a week, Monday mornings of course. Each week I would wait in line for my turn to weigh in. I was shocked how many reasons, or excuses rather, I was hearing for someone’s 2lb weight gain, or why they didn’t lose this week. “Well I had a party on Saturday and then the family was over Sunday for dinner and the whole nine yards.” It’s amazing how quickly we can excuse our behavior. For anyone that watches The Biggest Loser, change is a must! The overweight contestants join the show because their focus was off. Maybe they’re a single mom, trying to raise a few kids. Or maybe they’re a busy Dad working two jobs, whatever their story is, they’ve all made choices to lead them to where they are when they first join the show. I see The Biggest Loser helping these contestants change their mental focus the most. Yes, they train them in proper nutrition and workouts, but most importantly they help re-align their focus.

Since a little over year ago, I’ve dropped roughly 70lbs. It has taken a lot of work, and focus. It also took a year. Staying focused will produce amazing results if you keep going, refuse to quit and push yourself.

Let’s say you’ve attained what you were focusing on. Don’t stop there! Get a new focus that incorporates your previous focus and build on your achievements.

I’d like to share with you a tool I have found very helpful. It’s called “The Daily Plate”. You can find “The Daily Plate” on livestrong.com This is an amazing tool that allows you to enter your weight, the amount of weight you would like to lose or gain, your activity level etc. It then gives you an approximate calorie intake and allows you to track your daily food and exercise. This helped me stay focused to lose the 70lbs. A great thing about “The Daily Plate” is the breakdown of carbs, fats and sugars. Helping you make sure you are getting a healthy balance. Enjoy!

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Two Words You Never Want to Say

Post written by Patrick D’Ambrosio.

photo courtesy of Joe Penniston

So I have not had a hand in social online prodigal. My first attempt at posting here I forgot to introduce myself.  With is the cardinal rule in writing, I never made the audience feel comfortable with me.  This is even after I was encouraged to do so.  Let me start here, I am a man who makes mistakes and then makes the same mistake again.  Before that I’m a Christian first and foremost.  I’m a newlywed, I’ve been married for one year and am beyond joyful to be expecting a baby with my incredible wife.  I’m an avid movie/television watcher/book reader, history enthusiast, a novice cook and all around imperfect human. And as I said, I am one who makes mistakes everyday.  Usually by the fourth or fifth time I get it right.  Right now I’m sorry.

I thought about this for a moment when I was watching a recent television program.  This is what I do I watch movies, film, plays, read books and I see great illustration about life from the characters and stories.  Well in this particular story a man who has wronged another finds out the old sage knowledge from listening to his daughter (an old story technique) confide in him about how her boyfriend was late for a date and then tried making excuses regarding it.  She then asks, “Why do boys do that”?  As well as it being a semi-sappy father daughter moment it was an epiphany for this one character who realized that he needed to apologize for his own action.

Then it got me thinking.  How easy is it so say you are sorry?  And I’m not talking about those empty words you were forced to say to your stupid little brother after you gave him an atomic wedgie.  I’m referring to the moment you come to the conclusion that you’ve said something or done something that you regret, because your actions have affected someone.  Feeling empathy for your fellow human being is one of the things that make us human.

Some people see that apologizing is a sign of weakness.  You can concede your higher ground if you let someone else know that you were in the wrong.  But is it worth it to be on the top when you are all alone.  Is it so bad to admit that you are human?  I know in my past year of marriage I could have stopped a few arguments if I just conceded in my mind that I did things that were wrong and then verbalized it to my wife.  Sure part of me thinks as a husband I need to be strong and in the right.  As a woman I can only imagine that you too don’t want to be overpowered by your spouse, so continuing to stand your ground may seem like a good idea, but at what cost.

There was a Jim Henson inspired live action  television show years ago named Dinosaurs (youtube it if you like) where all dinosaurs lived like humans with modern “Flintstone like” technology.   In one satire episode the dinosaurs from one land have a disagreement with another group of dinosaurs and they come up with the brand new idea of W.A.R. an acronym for WE ARE RIGHT.  Isn’t that the way we feel sometimes when we do things that we do.  We justify ourselves everyday.  Think about it, unless you self loath your existence you see yourself as the star of the movie of your life.  You imagine that you have insight into everything you do and it’s everyone else who doesn’t understand, isn’t doing it right, acting poorly.  Sure you may be the hero in your life but you may be the villain in everyone else’s.

You must also consider the fact that if you can’t apologize you have a weakness to you.  So show strength today, say you’re sorry.  And remember, saying your sorry doesn’t mean you will get an “apology accepted” back…this is not the point of it all.

Thinks to keep in mind when choosing to Apologize:

1) Do it quick-prolonging the moment you let someone know you are sorry will only make the situation worse.  Also you may miss your window of opportunity.

2) Admit what you did. (be clear don’t give a half truth)

3) Express your sorrow. Don’t fake it (even a sliver of uncertainty of the part of the victim will burn you).

4) Be sincere by speaking from the heart and feeling the victim’s pain.

5) Give your victim the opportunity to vent their feelings.  It’s a process and can benefit you both

6) Make up for the harm you’ve done by taking corrective action, offering compensation, or making restitution. If you steal a cookie, give a cookie back and you better make it a good cookie, not any of those dollar store generic cookies.  If you said something horrible, remember that the next time and every time you open your mouth.

7) Learn from the experience. Every moment can be a learning experience be better than you are today.

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Choices & Chopsticks

Post written by Bridget Strub.

photo courtesy of Dan4th

Asian restaurants have always been an interesting phenomenon to me. Neither my husband Pete nor I are that crazy about Asian cuisine. I enjoy it, and occasionally crave it, but that’s usually the extent of it. We’ve tried to expand our experiences to different restaurants around town, and in doing so we’ve seen a wide variety of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Most of our experiences, however, have occurred between the bad and the ugly range.

We’ve been left to wait for hours to get a Coke refill and our check while watching our waitress watch us through a glass wall while hanging out with the other wait staff. We’ve caught glimpses into kitchens behind tattered curtain that exposed conditions much like those found on Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. We’ve paid more for the décor on the wall than for the quality or portions of the food. I’ve spent more time in the bathroom after a visit to one restaurant than I did eating the meal. And the list could go on.

So as I ventured to go beyond my comfort zone this week, I was a little timid to try Wok With You, an Asian restaurant at Park Point in Henrietta. I really wanted our first restaurant in this quest for new and exciting places to be a good one. I actually really freaked out about it for a second. I grasped the enormity of my decision. Pete and I only get to eat out once a week. Our dinner usually determines the temperature for the rest of our date night. If I picked the wrong restaurant I could seriously disappoint Pete, though he’d never say that. That’s when I realized why we rarely divert from our few favorite restaurants. In the words of Forest Gump, “You never know what you’re gonna get.” And that’s exactly what flooded my mind as we walked through the glass doors of Wok With You.

I was full of anticipation; praying that it would be good, but willing to settle for decent. We were seated right away. There were only three other couples in the restaurant, and, immediately, my mind replayed our very own restaurant nightmares. As I took in my surroundings I thought it looked nice. The walls were coated with crisp, trendy colors, and there were no gaudy decorations anywhere. I felt a familiarity that I couldn’t quite place my finger on, but brushed it aside as I kept observing. The dining area was fairly simple with concrete floors and lined rectangular tables. It felt so simple in fact that it reminded me of my high school cafeteria. I enjoyed my high school cafeteria, but that’s not what I’m going for on a nice night out to dinner. It was at that thought that the familiarity crept in again. This time I couldn’t shake it. I was hit with the feeling that I had been somewhere ridiculously similar to that restaurant before. That’s when it hit me. It reminded me of Siam in Corn Hill Landing; one of the restaurants that ended in our bad to ugly category. A restaurant whose name is scoffed at in our home. A restaurant that we vowed never to step foot in again. I jokingly mentioned this revelation to Pete and he looked at me as if I had told him he had a terminal illness. The horror of it all didn’t set in until I flipped to the back of the sushi menu and saw an advertisement for us to check out their other restaurants. There were three restaurants named, and among them was none other than Siam itself. It’s as if someone shouted an obscenity at the top of their lungs in the middle of the restaurant. Pete and I both froze, unsure what to do.

We obviously had a choice to make. Do we get up and go? They had only given us waters up to this point, so we had made no real commitment to them. Getting up would’ve been so easy. But the problem was complex. It always is with Pete and I. You see, Pete has a serious problem with making a scene, and getting up and walking out of a restaurant qualifies as making a scene. I have a serious problem with hurting people’s feelings and the wait staff standing around the door would definitely see us leave and feel bad. I was convinced of it. As we stewed in our indecision, the waitress came over to take our order. The decision had been made for us. There was no going back now. We dove in half heartedly and ordered a Coke. As we waited for the drink, we looked through our options on the menu. There were dishes like “Bang Bang Tiger Shrimp” and “Me fun,” but there was nothing next to the names to describe them. I figured the odds were already stacked against us for failure (yes, I know that’s a terribly negative outlook, but that’s what I was thinking), and ordering something that I wasn’t sure about wouldn’t necessarily end well (even if I wanted to order Me fun just because I think I AM, in fact, fun). So Pete and I went with what we knew. I ordered Udon noodles with chicken and Pete got fried rice and chicken. Neither of us was expecting much, but when the heaping piles of noodles and rice (respectively) came out, our moods lifted.

The food was delicious. We ate our entire meal with chopsticks – a feat I had never accomplished until that evening. I didn’t get a peak in the kitchen, but I was ignorantly pleased with the quality of the food. The bonus was that we only spent $22 for our entire meal (tip and all) which made up for the creepy Siam aura. Our only problem was that the aforementioned Coke that we ordered was $1.50 for a can (presented “elegantly” with a glass of ice and a paper covered straw). No refills. Lame. Free refills are a must have on date. I was extremely pleased by the prompt service, though there were no excuses not to be. There were only two to three other tables occupied besides our own. Our dinner even ended with a fortune cookie that told me my “love life will soon be happy and harmonious.” I don’t know what I’ve been living with thus far, but I look forward to what the cookie suggests. The highlight of the evening was, however, as we exited the restaurant. Pete led the way and as he turned left to say goodbye to the host hovering by the door, he leaned all his weight right into what he thought was the door. His head realized the wall wasn’t a door first. It kind of jerked back while the rest of his body parts from the neck down followed his head’s lead, only to have the same startled reaction seconds apart from one another. It was kind of like watching a vertical train wreck. I tried to contain my laughter long enough to make sure he wasn’t seriously hurt. After he told me that his ego was the only thing that had suffered serious damage the floodgates opened and for the next half an hour I entertained myself by replaying the incident over in my head and laughing just as hard as if I had just seen it happen. That one event made whatever residual stress that was left from before dissipate, for me anyway.

Upon reflection of our Wok With You experience, Pete and I decided that it could go on our “approved” Asian restaurants list. However, we came to one glaring conclusion. Our favorite place to eat Asian cuisine is, by far, Wegmans. Yes, I know it’s a grocery store, but it’s so much more (we’ll get into that in another article). Think about it. Wegmans provides cuisine as authentic as any upstate New York Asian eatery, and you can be confident about where the food comes from and how it is stored. The price is fairly right and you know what you’re getting every time. You can’t beat the variety of options from the buffet either. Oh, and did I mention it’s Wegmans? Heck, it’s like getting food from your mom’s fridge. Totally legit.

So yes, we tried a new restaurant, but I still feel like the old standbys would do just as good a job. Though they don’t have glass walls that could be mistaken for doors…

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Adventures of a Tech Jock

Post written by Steve Otto. Follow me on Twitter.

photo courtesy of bfishadow

The Golden Years When I was in Elementary and Junior High School I was your typical dorky adolescent. I remember hanging out with some of the more goofy kids (which I fit into that category perfectly) who played Dungeons & Dragons and had collections of Star Wars figures and Radio Controlled Cars. I didn’t really fit into the ‘cool group’ at that point, but as I came into High School I started excelling in sports and shedding some of that goofy and awkward layer I carried around for years. Being in a small school with a graduating class of about 65, it was actually possible to know nearly everyone in my High School. That became a goal of mine. I knew what it was like to be part of the goofy group – you know the band geeks or A/V kids in your High School. But I also enjoyed becoming part of the popular crowd. At one point I even had possibly the most attractive girl in our High School longing to date me but at the time I had my heart set on another girl in my church youth group. Thank goodness neither of those worked out.

A new term I remember at one point in my High School Years when a female friend of mine was complimenting me on my skills. I had found some loophole in the system where I was really good at computers and gadgets but didn’t fit the personality profile of most of the A/V guys. I didn’t have a pocket protector or coke bottle glasses and I was actually coordinated. So she gave me a new label – “Tech Jock”. I fit in with the coolness of the Jocks (evening earning Athlete of the Year my Senior Year) while still enjoying my passion for gadgets (and we’re not talking all the cool gadgets like we have now – we are talking gadgets like the Commodore 64 here).

For my peeps So for all those guys out there that have a passion for Audio and Visual goodness but were shunned from the cool group, being called a computer nerd or other debilitating names – this column is for you. You can enjoy A/V and still be cool. You too, can be a Tech Jock.

Of more importance So Technology is of course one of my passions, but I also have a few other roles that outrank the Tech Jock Label. Husband, Father, and a Follower of Jesus. I am absolutely blessed by my marriage to my wife Amy. She is my best friend and we have a lot of fun navigating through life together. Which brings me to our kids – Hannah and Jacob. Life is never boring in our house, and I look forward to sharing some of those adventures with you. Finally, through all of this, my love for Christ is a part of everything I’m involved in. I’m sure I’ll be sprinkling stories in which God is working in my life here in there, because that is always exciting as well.

So I hope you enjoy my weekly column here on Sundays and I want to leave you with one recent story of our 4 year old Jacob.

A Parenting Ubermoment I recently came across the iPhone app called Joost which allows me to watch old TV episodes right on my iPhone. While I was browsing through the retro animated cartoons I came across my absolute favorite: G.I.Joe. My brothers and I were such big G.I.Joe fans that between the three of us we honestly owned about 400 figures and over 100 vehicles. It’s no wonder that all three of us eventually joined the Army Reserves. I was thrilled to share these episodes with Jacob and hoped he would enjoy them as much as I. It wasn’t long before Jacob was cheering on Snake Eyes and fearing Storm Shadow. The episodes are terrific because there are no cartoons, but they do show the commercial brake. It’s kind of entertaining. At the end of an action sequence the G.I.Joe logo comes on and the narrator states “G.I.Joe will return after these messages.” The screen goes black for a second and then the narrator comes back on and continues, “And now back to G.I.Joe”. Well after watching nearly all of the 20 or so episodes and having a half dozen commercial brakes for each episode, it wasn’t long before we found Jacob repeating this. The way he shares this is adorable and a little intriguing. Jacob will recite the narrators comments word for word and then close his eyes for a second or two before coming back with the phrase, “and now back to G.I.Joe”. You gotta see it to see how cute it is…

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YouTube Direkt

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Enough

Post written by Aaron Bouwens.

photo courtesy of ENTER-FLICKR-OWNER-NAME-HERE

Most of my life I have been on a quest of some sort or another. Rarely have I been satisfied with the spot I have found myself in. There were the school years were I was on a quest to be popular and have more and more friends. Off to college where I began to look for more out of life, and turned to all kinds of outlets in that quest. Not to be left out of my quest was the search for more and more money. The reality is I have spent most of my life looking for more, and not feeling like I have enough.

Enough is a funny thing. It seems elusive, just out of reach. Yet most of us life in abundance far beyond our wildest imagination. The fact that I am writing this and you are able to read it one computer gives you something that most of the world does not have. Here in America we live in the midst of the most consumption driven country in the world, and that does not seem to be enough.

I cannot help wonder if enough is not the goal, or if we already have more than enough and excess is our struggle. We have so much we lose sight of what we have and think we need more. Another possibility is things, stuff, is not what we are really craving and questing after. Perhaps there is a source of provision which provides more than enough for us. Having enough is not about the amount of stuff, rather it is about the disposition of our hearts. Sure there is a long list of things which I am convinced would make my life better, and yes I would receive donations. But the quest is no longer for stuff, it is for the deepest possible relationship I can muster with God. On this quest I am finding something I have been looking for all along, enough. I am not perfect in this quest nor have I figured it all out, still more days than not I feel like I am finally on the right quest.

I invite you to join me on this quest. May we journey together to see we can in fact have enough, but it might not show us in the ways we are looking. Grace and Peace.

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Fridays with Fred

Post written by Fred Reed.

photo courtesy of apdk

Hello to all ~
My name is Fred Reed and I am excited about being able to share with
All of who are willing to listen, regarding the subject on marriage. I have been
Married for over 21 years to a very wonderful woman. In today’s time 21 years may be considered by most to be somewhat of a relic. I am not a professional by any means nor am I “Doctor Phil” but I do have a passion for marriage and have a great deal of respect for it. You may disagree with some things and agree with others and this is all fine. I am
Not a “know-it-all” and welcome any insight that some of you will have. Again, I look forward to sharing with you in the upcoming weeks.

Fred Reed

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