4 Weddings in 8 Days

Post written by Steve Otto. Follow me on Twitter.

Amy and I just finished one of the busiest weeks of our lives. We have had a few weddings here and there already this year, but our busy wedding season went into full swing these past two weekends. Two weekends ago we had a wedding on Saturday and Sunday. This past weekend we had a wedding on Friday and Saturday. Things were a whirlwind. Add to that, our church’s VBS program happened to be fall on this week and I had three planning meetings that middle week as well. Did I mention I also worked at my full-time job this week as well?

Well we survived and we somehow managed to complete everything with excellence. You may have been wondering why Ubervice wasn’t updated over the last several days. I apologize, but something had to give. But seriously, I hope you understand how crazy our lives really were. Many of our meals turned from home cooked to fast food. We ate while watching the clock. We only focused on what was going on the next day, and sometimes we could only focus on the next hour. Each wedding brought us home sometime between 12:30am and 2:00am. Due to some of our wedding clients living out of town, we were unable to have their last planning meeting days before their wedding (which we usually meet a full month before). We forgot we had a cat. Monster (energy) drinks were coveted and often traded in our families black market. We never once sat in front of the TV to relax, which is almost like going without food for us.

There are a few things we learned during these eight days of chaos.

1. Going through this brought us closer. As Amy and I sat on our beloved chair and a half in front of the television last evening with our two rugrats snuggled up in our arms, we thought back through what we had just been through. And we both realized how close we felt. Going through something like that together certainly made us appreciate each other more. If you want to strengthen your marriage, do something big together. Train for a 5K together. Work in a ministry program together. Whatever it is, you’ll find that the more intense it is, and the more you really on and support each other, the closer you will grow.

2. How often we misjudge people. Three out of the four weddings we did were new venues or catering companies to us. Two of them treated us at the beginning as if we had leprosy. One in fact, in our pre-site visit, continually referred to me as “DJ Steve” (in the cheesiest voice you could muster) in order to put me in my place. Our services are much different than other DJs, and at the end of each night these same vendors were blown away with our professionalism and entertainment abilities. We know that because they specifically told us that at the end of the night. I understand that many of these vendors experience uncaring, unprofessional DJs week after week who make their venue look bad. But it still hurt to be treated in such a way, which was assumed right from the beginning. I wonder how often I look down on someone for their position or how they look or for whatever reason, and I misjudge them. This was a great lesson for me to see the best in people and not to judge them.

3. People want you to succeed, but not be successful. One thing that struck me funny in a conversation with a friend, was how people want you to succeed when you are working hard towards something, but on the other hand, once you are successful, people are almost against you. Think about it for a minute. What do you think of when you think of Bill Gates? Are you happy for him? Would you like to see him earn more money? Now picture someone like my brother-in-law who is spending a lot of time trying to create his own recipe software. We would love to see him finish it and actually have people start purchase his software.

But the funny thing is, I think if his software ended up being a gold mine, people might actually not enjoy seeing him succeed so well. Let’s say in six months, he was earning about $40,000 a month off of his software sales, I think he would start to hear criticism about how much time he was spending working on his software. Why is he trying to develop new software, is $40K a month not enough for him, Jeez? Maybe he should spend more time volunteering at church. Maybe he should spend more time on his marriage.

Even if he was spending the same amount of time after his huge success as before, he would hear criticism only after the success came. Why is that. What makes us want people to succeed, but not be successful?

4. When someone needs help, offer help. Very similar to number 3, and maybe even related to the success thing, was during our very busy week when we were in a little over our heads, we got criticism on doing so many weddings. We had only done two weddings in a weekend a few times before this, and never for two weekends in a row. Also, we never had so many last minute tasks to do, due to last minute meetings with our out of town clients. We were surprised to find that we actually were criticized during this time when what we needed was help. I imagine I make the same mistake. Someone finds themselves in a difficult situation and I tell them, “Well if you had planned better, this wouldn’t have happened.” This reminded me to simply offer help when someone needs it. We all find ourselves in situations like these (well, maybe not so much like this one, but you know what I mean), so instead of lecturing, offer help.

5. Perception is very interesting. Okay, here is my last negative lesson we learned – I promise. Doing a wedding on a weekend night is for some reason seen as a bad thing. Again, I think this is slightly related to the success thing. My wife works two days a week. Many friends we know choose to work full time, but what works best for our family is for Amy to be at home most of the time). But for some reason, doing two weddings on the weekend, makes her a neglectful parent. Despite the time being the same amount of hours as a shift at the hospital, it is slightly implied that our kids are not well taken care of. If Amy decided to work an extra two days at the hospital, that would be no big deal. But two weddings in a weekend in which we are paid much higher than her hospital salary, well then, we are being greedy and neglecting our children. It’s not that bad, but I’m trying to make a point here. What’s interesting, is that if she had planned a weekend golfing with the girls, or gone shopping with friends, that wouldn’t have been seen as bad parenting. But making a decent amount of money. Well then, that is bad. Amy cut back her hours this week, and I only worked a three day week so we would have more family time. And think about it, would you rather work 8 hours for $150 or 8 hours for $2600? The latter obviously makes more sense, but for some reason making a lot of money brings with it comments that you should not worry so much about money and spend more time with your kids.

6. Weddings are sacred. I also was reminded of why we do weddings. Several times throughout both weekends, Amy and I looked at each other after an incredible moment and whispered, this is why we do this. After moments like hearing the wedding party read some incredible (and prophetic) comments of love from the yearbook of one bride and groom who were high school sweethearts. After standing next to a groom with tears streaming down his face as he watched his new bride dance with her father. After seeing a bride dance with her grandparents who had been married for 61 years, and just given the advice to enjoy everyday of their marriage as much as they have enjoyed this (their wedding) day. After watching a Christian Bride & Groom who couldn’t wait to start their honeymoon, practically run out of the building, after ending their reception 45 minutes early. Treated as if we were actually family from parents and getting so many hugs for helping to make someone’s day so special. And watching as a bride and groom stare into each others eyes during their first dance in such a way that shows a glimpse of their hearts becoming one. Weddings are sacred. Marriage is sacred. I believe they are one of the most meaningful things to glad and its an honor to be a part of them.

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