Learning from ABC’s True Beauty

If you have watched ABC’s True Beauty, its one of those reality type shows that I never thought I would watch but got caught up in.

The premise is that all of the contestants believe they are on the show to go through a series of challenges to find out who has the most outer beauty. But that is only half of the story. They are really being judged on their inner beauty as well. That winner will receive a cash prize and a spot in PEOPLE magazine’s 100 Most Beautiful People issue.

The contestants were continually watched with hidden cameras on how they interacted with each other and during every episode they would be faced with a secret challenge that tested their inner beauty.

My first thoughts when watching this was that I would never do any of the things these people were doing. It was appalling. Lying, being two-faced, gossip and being flat out rude to each other.

But when I thought about it further, I realized I would certainly act different if I knew as was being judged on my inner beauty. It would be easy to show yourself in the best light possible if you knew that you were being rated on how well you treated others. But what if I were in a competition? What if I thought the competition was for something different. The reality show Survivor has the motto “Outwit, Outplay, Outlast”. Contestants are actually applauded for deceiving the competition.

As I got drawn into more and more episodes I started asking myself, would I have passed that challenge testing my inner beauty? Would I have said those put downs about the other contestants if I didn’t know I was being watched? Its easy to look down on the contestants, but when you really think about the situation they were in, it would prove difficult to be the beautiful person you would want people to see as.

What if I were being watched at work? home? or anyplace? Let me ask you this. Would you change how you are acting right now if you knew you were being watched? I think all of us have at least some little changes we would make.

It’s easy to judge: At first it was easy to wonder what these contestants were thinking to be acting the way they were. But when I really thought about it, I just as easily could have done some of the same things they were doing or saying. I’ve found in my life as well, when I question why someone would parent a certain way, or say the things they said, or make the decisions they made, and I act as if I would never do such a thing, that all too often I find myself facing the same situation and doing the same things I questioned.

I’m trying to learn to have a heart that is much more understanding and supportive.

Who does it hurt? In many of these episodes when someone was gossiping or mocking another contestant, I didn’t look down on the person who’s flaw was being revealed. I looked down on the person doing the gossiping.

When they watched their highlight video of all their poor examples of inner beauty, it wasn’t the person they were demeaning that looked bad. It was them, the person making the comments, that looked bad.

When I get in poor attitude or when I’m angry with someone and talking down about them, it doesn’t hurt them. It brings me down. I feel like crap inside. I feel my own self-worth lessen.

It’s easy to follow: Many of the times on the show, when one person would start putting down another, others would jump it and join them. I’ve reflected on this as well and I know that all to often I’ll join in with the group who is gossiping or at least agree with them.

Learn to be a thermostat and not a thermometer. Be the person who changes the tone of the conversation and start speaking highly of others or at least point out that you shouldn’t be putting others down. You’ll find that when you continually set that standard, that people won’t gossip around you anymore. They won’t use profanity, or off-color jokes. Just by taking the high road you’ll be having a positive impact on others, as long as its done with the right attitude and not a holier than thou attitude.

I rooted for the nice people: I found I was rooting for the people with the most sincere inner beauty to win. Well, that’s sort of obvious, right? But are you giving people something to root for? I’ve been in situations recently where I faced others who had very little inner beauty. It would have been easy to point out their shortcomings, but then I would have been no different than them. It’s not always easy to strive for integrity and love, especially if you are being attacked, but in the end it makes you a better person.

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